What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize