I feel like abortions should bother me more
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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