You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
