I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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