I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
you made out with another girl for some wings
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
