I can tuck mytits in my pants
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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