I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
