Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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