Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
