If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im calling her cock vulture from now on
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
