I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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