sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
