He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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