He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
