it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
