Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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