morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
