This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Four minutes until I can fart!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
