I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
