i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
