I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
