Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
