my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
