Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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