no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
