but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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