Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
