shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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