Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
