When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
