I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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