MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
