yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize