He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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