Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
A bitchslap is in order.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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