God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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