Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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