Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
