There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
