My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
