these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
