My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I want to be your penis for a week.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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