It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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