My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
this hospital has no fireball
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
