I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize