the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
