i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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