We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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