The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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