i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
