i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
