the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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