Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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