Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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