if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
