Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
this hospital has no fireball
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
