I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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