Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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