I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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