Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
