He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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