It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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