Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize