Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
