How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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